Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since old ages. Affairs can be loaded with evils, cause sorrow, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age difference, faith upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married women for dating.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned mainly though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone can turn the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your spouse or anybody else? You would need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest group, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his woman for a large humber of reasons. As a male I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown distantly, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair